Tim Ferris has his “5 Bullet Fridays” that I get in my email, so I’ve been thinking about what MY special Friday gift to the world might be, and I haven’t got one because maybe I’m just not that clever. So instead, you get the first in my “meant to be weekly, but come on, who are we kidding” installment of “That Is What I Think About That”, otherwise and forever now known as “TWITAT” (copyright, patent pending, all rights reserved to ME).
Not so much a gift to you as, well, me venting about whatever the heck I want to – so I guess it’s a gift to myself, really. I say weekly, although that implies that there will be more than one and let’s be honest here, knowing me (which I do) and how flaky I can be, this may be the one and only – so enjoy it while you can!!!
First, before I really get started, you all should know that I have decided to accept and wear proudly the label of “flibbertigibbet”. I believe I shall print it on a T-shirt and display my label for all the world to see.
- Definition: Flibbertigibbet – a frivolous, flighty, or excessively talkative person (Google Dictionary)
- Apparently flibbertigibbet is a real word, and not just a beautiful butterfly introduced in the song “Maria” from The Sound of Music (“A flibbertigibbet! A willow-o’-the-wisp! A clown!”), not to be confused with “Maria” from West Side Story (“MARIA!…I’ve just met a girl named Maria…And suddenly that name…Will never be the same…To meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…”).
Yes, I have finally found it – a label that is ME. It is WHO I AM, and I’m tired of fighting my very essence…(although I might not be excessively talkative – that aspect is up for debate…a lot of debate…I mean, seriously, I could talk for hours about this.)
As for the rest of this week’s TWITAT
- Oprah – I love you, although possibly not with quite the knee scraping idolatry that many people (even, apparently, the “Hollywood elite”) exhibit. I just want to thank you right here, though, for NOT running for president. Yep – you’re wonderful and appear to be wise and I think it would be GREAT if you were on speed dial for the next president, but let’s face it, having a celebrity in the White House again may not be our best way forward.
- Oscar night winners and losers – thank you, too. You all seemed to keep it pretty positive and empowering, supportive of one another and the world at large (at least on camera), and OH. MY. GOODNESS. Whoever designed that set reached into my brain and pulled out everything I could possibly want to see on a stage to help me escape reality and just bask in the glory and glamour and SPARKLY of Hollywood. Well DONE. SO beautiful – I really hope someone somewhere wins SOMETHING for that set design.
- Politics can suck it right now. Not the real stuff – the stuff to which we should all be paying attention and lending our voices and support, like teachers getting paid a fair wage and students being safe and people being able to take care of their families and being part of a global economy and potholes being fixed because our tax dollars are going where they are supposed to go. NO – that is the stuff we SHOULD be hearing and reading and learning about.Instead, we get the fire hose of information coming from all corners and through all media that keeps flooding us with the ridiculous smoke and mirrors sensationalist bullshit that we seem to keep gulping down like it’s our very life blood. STOP. Just stop…I’m so fruckin’ tired of all of the crap and the stupidity and the name calling and finger pointing and lack of integrity and vitriol. I can barely breathe most days, it’s all so sickening. If I want to know what’s happening in the world I have to prepare myself to withstand a barrage of STUPID just to get a few nuggets of viable and valuable information and actual news.For the 3 or so people who are not Americans who have read this blog so far – can I come live with you until this is all over…pleeeeeeease???
- Speaking of labels (which I did – up above…feel free to scroll back up if you don’t remember…I’ll wait … … … … … OH, good – you’re back). So, SPEAKING of labels – why do you care, people? No – not them, YOU people, the ones who have to question or argue about whatever label someone chooses to adopt for themselves. Labels are just words that help people identify things, and we all use them, and people get to label themselves whatever works for them. If you call yourself a man or you call yourself a woman or a penguin or a teacher or a firefighter or a friggin’ “KKK Master Race Grand Priesty Whatsit”, you are using a label and that’s FINE…except for maybe the KKK thing, because REALLY? As Seth Meyers would say, “How is this still a THING???”.Anyway – if someone is applying a label to themselves to be able to communicate more clearly WHO and what they are, do, or are going through, then they get to do that and it’s just their way of trying to understand and be understood. If you don’t understand what it means, ask (respectfully, please – you really don’t need to know about their genitalia to know WHO they are)…but if you are judging, get over it and mind your OWN, people!
- MY labels – although probably not all of them:
- Flibbertigibbet (as previously mentioned)
- Spouse (that’s right – hubby and I both agree that we need a wife, because my fabulous womanhood aside, a “good wife” I am NOT.)
- Cisgender Female (aka – Full Bodied, Glorious: “Woman, Woe Man, Whoa Man” – you’re welcome fans of So I Married An Axe Murderer)
- Frequent Flyer
- Old (seriously – over 50 is OLD…we have been around and we have SEEN some shit)
- Volunteer Fire Fighter (yep – it was a while ago, but still a label I love and choose to dust off every now and then)
- Fat (no, not curvy, not overweight…just fat, because it just IS and everyone can see it and everyone knows it, so just stop already…it’s not something to dance around linguistically…it’s just fat. You call yourself whatever you want, honey, and if you too are fat but choose the label “curvy” instead, more power to you. For me, I’d rather everyone just let me call myself fat without having to manage YOUR discomfort with the fact of my fatness. )
- Depressed biatch – yes, I have a friend who addresses me as biatch sometimes (oh yeah, you know who you are, KL), so I have decided to own it proudly
- Fly Swatter (oh, it’s true – those annoying little flying bags of ICK better stay FAR away from me and my electric tennis-racket fly killing machine)
- Secret Santa
- Wind Surfer (this may have been a LONG time ago, but it is a label I will cherish for ever and always)
- Worrier and anxiety ridden husk of a human being
- Reality Bender
- ÆåöΖêÜΩ℘ – – Award winning author and screenwriter – – çÊ∠∗≡≈∉∼≈≡≠≅
(this one is written in future speak – if you can read it, then you have traveled into the future and learned something about me that even I don’t know yet. If you make it back alive, feel free to let me know what you found out!)